Fancy Walmart

I realize that the title of this blog are two words not typically seen together.  But it is a true statement.  On Tuesday night Jourdan and I went Thanksgiving shopping for our 2nd annual non-traditional Thanksgiving feast.  The trip had two purposes: to gather the proper ingredients for our meal and to purchase t-shirts to bedazzle for our Florida vs. Florida State game day activities.  

When we left our apartment we decided we would head up to Walmart hoping to encounter some yellow smiley faced rolled back prices on our ingredients, t-shirts, and maybe even a tire or two. Arriving at the Walmart we were familiar with, we were disheartened because it was closed.  And I don't mean just for the night but closed forever.  You know the economy is in distress when a Walmart closes its doors.  

In order to remedy our situation, Jourdan googled Walmart, called them and asked for the closest one to us.  Upon instruction, I turned my truck around, headed down the highway, exited, drove a few miles, and then what met our gaze was pretty unbelievable.  It was a brand new Super Walmart, complete with new logo, fonts, and looking almost massive home-like with fake windows and storm shutters.  I think the building may actually have been sparkling.

I parked my truck far away because of course it was packed and Jourdan and I scampered like hyper squirrels towards the doors excited about what might await us inside.  As we walked in, I think I heard angels singing "ta dah" as we gazed at the well spaced displays and noticed the remarkable cleanliness of the store.  Beginning our walk through the store, we also were surprised at the fake hardwood floors (also known as fardwood) that separated each section.

The atmosphere of this Walmart was one that inspired you to shop around and buy, unlike most of my Walmart experiences where I just want to find what I need and leave quickly but usually can't because only 2 of the 50 registers are actually open.  I mean, we almost left with a Texas flag shower curtain and some pineapple cream cheese.  Two things I would never ever want unless under the influence of illegal substances or due to the effects of fancy Walmart hypnosis. So if you struggle with debt, stay far away from the sparkly, beckoning Walmart on Forrest Lane.

After oohing and ahhing at the shoe section that actually looks like a shoe store, finding the Thanksgiving ingredients, and selecting our t-shirts and iron-on letters, we purchased our items from the happy checker and made our way to my truck parked in Oklahoma.  Peering inside of my truck, I saw a life-size teddy bear that my friends had found in their neighbors trash can a couple of months ago and strapped him in my passenger side with a note taped to him to cheer me up after running out of gas one unfortunate morning.  I had been needing to set him free for a while so I decided if he was going to be happy anywhere, it would probably be at the dazzling Supercenter where people are friendly and love, joy, hope, and smiley faces abound.  

As we emptied the contents of our cart, I got Mr. Teds out of my truck, placed him in the child seat of the cart and rolled him into the cart farm.  He looked funny sitting in the cart and I tried to imagine who he would get to cheer up next.  While we were driving off, I do have to admit, it made me a little sad to see him in my rear view mirror sitting stiffly in the cart all by himself as Jourdan asked me how it felt to abandon the stuffed friend.  In response to her question, I halted the brakes, threw my truck into reverse, navigated back to the cart farm, got out, ran around to the passenger side, opened the door, unbuckled Jourdan, scooped her up, placed her in the child seat of a cart next to Mr. Teds, jumped back into my truck and screeched off -- all without saying a single word. Ok, so not really, but I mean, what if :)

And by the way, our Thanksgiving friend feast was a huge success.  Jourdan cooked  her first delicious roast and made the comment "I think this is my proudest day as a woman" (her proudest day as a man was when she shot that twelve point buck that one time -- not really again, but I mean, what if?).  While we are on the subject of Jo-Jo (that's Jourdan), we were watching bits and pieces of the Macy's Thanksgiving Day Parade this morning and saw the Sesame Street float with all the Muppets from the show.  Jourdan asked me what animal Snuffalufagus is and I told her he is an elephant.  I then asked her what she thought he was. Her response was "I thought he was a Snuffalufagus." I mean, what if?

Tomorrow we head to Austin for the rest of the weekend.  Game day shirts and necklaces are ready for the FSU and UF grads to prance in down the streets in the heart of the Big 12 South. No one there will really get it and that's half of the fun.  Can't wait to see what God has in store in ATX for Jo-Jo and Danger Kitten.  Stories await so in the words of Urkel "Don't fret my pet!"

Happy Thanksgiving!